Seeing stars

When I first heard reports this week that Keith Richards had suffered a concussion from falling out of a palm tree in Fiji, I was tempted to say "that’s ridiculous!" But then I realized that this incident is actually tame in comparison to some of the other absurd injuries that decorate the celebrity Hall of Pain:

Phil Bronstein (Sharon Stone’s Ex): Bitten by Komodo Dragon
There’s nothing wrong with admiring rare, exotic beasts while at the zoo. There is, however, some sort of cosmic lesson at play when a celebrity uses their clout to access a dangerous reptile’s feeding cage — and then incurs a nasty bite after their sneaker is mistaken for a white rat.

Fabio: Hit by Low-Flying Goose

The great thing about this absurd injury is that the whole thing was recorded on video — from the beginning of the roller-coaster ride, when Fabio straps himself in and prepares for takeoff; to the bloody end, when he slides back onto the platform wearing a cut on his nose, feathers, and a shocked expression.

Roy (of Siegfried & Roy): Mauled by own Tiger
To this day, Roy maintains that Montecore, the tiger that dragged him across the stage in its jaws during a live show, was actually trying to protect him.

Any Random Celebrity: Hospitalized for Dehydration/Exhaustion
I understand. Your job is incredibly demanding. You lead very busy lives. Especially touring — that’s a real kicker. It can be exhausting. So here’s a small exercise that may help fortify you when you’re under the gun: eat something and stop doing drugs.

Related Topics
Share This
More Stories