Goodbyes make me cry

Anyone who has ever sat down to compose a letter or email is eventually faced with the dilemma of how to sign off. Do I just sign my name? Do I write cheers to seem friendly and informal? Or do I thank them, even though they haven’t done anything for me to be thankful for?

Most of the closing lines we use in work-related correspondence are so standard and formal that they should really go without saying at this point:

Sincerely, (censored of the phoniness I normally impose on you)

Yours Truly, (devoid of my standard vicious lies)

*Insert first initial here* (I am, and always will be, the only person in the office with this initial. Or, I am the boss, and I’m claiming this initial as my own. So stick it.)

Respectfully, (I’m not mocking you. But only this time.)

Alternative Suggestions
The following lighthearted or “punchy” closing lines, although they may infuse entertainment into your workday, should be used at your own risk:

Truly, madly, deeply,

From this moment on,

Fondling,

Seacrest Out,

Retards,

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