Classless Christmas

The sounds of the season are now upon us; on the radio, in the shopping mall, in the grocery store, at the office, in the elevator, the lineup at the bank — you get the idea. Here are a few that you may never hear the same way again.

"Happy Xmas (War is Over)"
"…So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" Well, apparently nothing, since you asked so accusingly. The last time I checked, a traditional Christmas song was supposed to be uplifting and cheerful — not make you feel like a generalized failure in all areas of your life.

"Do They Know it's Christmas?"
Nothing says Christmas like a bunch of bored British pop stars from the '80s looking like Bob Geldof is holding a gun to their heads after calling them only hours before, ordering "just come as you are."

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
Rest easy kids! It was actually your Dad in the Santa costume. I've solved this mystery for grown adults who never caught on, but claimed the song always did make them feel "a bit uncomfortable."

"Good King Wenceslas"
I have a hard enough time keeping the Three Shepherds and the Three Wise Men separate. Do we really need to add another historic character to the fold?

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