If you want real no-holds bar comedy, then look no further than “The Nasty Show.” It was crude, rude and left nothing untouched, including audience members – it was everything I expected and more from the Toronto Just for Laughs X-rated special.
The night of impropriety was hosted by Nick Di Paolo and he came out swinging. He first complained that the bright spotlight would give him melanoma and the fake smoke would cause lung cancer. Then he pointed out the size of “the tits” on one of the unfortunate souls sitting in the front row. Di Paolo admires homeless people because they can sleep anywhere without tossing and turning and believes U.S. President Barack Obama might be the Messiah because when he was elected, Di Paolo pointed at his television and said, “Jesus Christ.” He returned to the stage in between acts to share a little more of his comical wisdom; subjects included getting old and his marriage – he noted a man can go home alone, order pizza, watch Sportsnet and jerk-off 11,556 times before admitting he should get married.
Jay Oakerson took the stage, immediately informing women that it’s summer so they should shave their vaginas (but without using that word). He then provided a few instructions and tips about doing so. Staying on topic, he explained no vagina has ever matched the original one he imagined – of course, he envisioned it was the magical entrance to a Narnia-like world. Next was a tale of an “inter-racial, inter-species gang-bang,” followed by the story of how he lost his virginity at 17 to a demanding, more experienced 22-year-old that tickled his balls.
Then came Hamilton-native Jason Rouse; he’s the type of comedian you know will be included in a show like this, but you wish he wasn’t. His idea of funny is being as vulgar and offensive as possible. He opened by declaring the water in Hamilton would kill him before AIDS. Then he spent a minute flirting with the mic stand before launching into a series of “fucking” jokes, including a distasteful but expected impression of a “retarded girl.”
On this night, the best was saved for second-last. Jimmy Carr walked to the centre of the stage wearing a suit without a tie and carrying a clipboard, which apparently listed his jokes. “I’m from Briton – that’s how things sound when they’re pronounced properly.” Carr entertained the audience with a string of one-liners that covered a variety of topics, but regardless of what he said it sounded less crude because of his accent. He ended with three pick-up lines and the best (and the one that can be repeated in mixed company) was: “Does this rag smell like chloroform?”
Patrice Oneal closed the show, beginning with some advice: spend all your money now because there is no future; soon we’ll have to barter. His sense of humour was less rude than some of those that preceded him. He also really enjoyed his own jokes, often laughing boisterously before it was even complete. He talked about his addiction to food despite his diabetes and lactose-intolerance, as well as the reintroduction of fish into his vegetarian diet because they’re not cute enough not to eat. He also spoke a lot about his relationship with his woman, his step-daughter (the reminder of his woman’s previous relationship), and the reason men don’t screw around – it’s not good for their life. At the end, even though the red light was blinking him off incessantly, Oneal just couldn’t seem to stop himself.
“The Nasty Show” lived up to its name in every respect, so leave your judgement at the door.