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Seeing stars

When I first heard reports this week that Keith Richards had suffered a concussion from falling out of a palm tree in Fiji, I was tempted to say “that’s ridiculous!” But then I realized that this incident is actually tame in comparison to some of the other absurd injuries that decorate the celebrity Hall of Pain:

Phil Bronstein (Sharon Stone’s Ex): Bitten by Komodo Dragon
There’s nothing wrong with admiring rare, exotic beasts while at the zoo. There is, however, some sort of cosmic lesson at play when a celebrity uses their clout to access a dangerous reptile’s feeding cage — and then incurs a nasty bite after their sneaker is mistaken for a white rat.

Fabio: Hit by Low-Flying Goose

The great thing about this absurd injury is that the whole thing was recorded on video — from the beginning of the roller-coaster ride, when Fabio straps himself in and prepares for takeoff; to the bloody end, when he slides back onto the platform wearing a cut on his nose, feathers, and a shocked expression.

Roy (of Siegfried & Roy): Mauled by own Tiger
To this day, Roy maintains that Montecore, the tiger that dragged him across the stage in its jaws during a live show, was actually trying to protect him.

Any Random Celebrity: Hospitalized for Dehydration/Exhaustion
I understand. Your job is incredibly demanding. You lead very busy lives. Especially touring — that’s a real kicker. It can be exhausting. So here’s a small exercise that may help fortify you when you’re under the gun: eat something and stop doing drugs.

Content Creator
Giselle Melanson Tattrie is a writer and researcher who has worked in TV, film and print. She is currently the features editor for Popjournalism as well as the technical and content editor for Drawspace Publishing. Giselle lives in Nova Scotia with her husband and two children.
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