When I first heard reports this week that Keith Richards had suffered a concussion from falling out of a palm tree in Fiji, I was tempted to say “thatâ€™s ridiculous!” But then I realized that this incident is actually tame in comparison to some of the other absurd injuries that decorate the celebrity Hall of Pain:
Phil Bronstein (Sharon Stoneâ€™s Ex): Bitten by Komodo Dragon
Thereâ€™s nothing wrong with admiring rare, exotic beasts while at the zoo. There is, however, some sort of cosmic lesson at play when a celebrity uses their clout to access a dangerous reptileâ€™s feeding cage — and then incurs a nasty bite after their sneaker is mistaken for a white rat.
Fabio: Hit by Low-Flying Goose
The great thing about this absurd injury is that the whole thing was recorded on video — from the beginning of the roller-coaster ride, when Fabio straps himself in and prepares for takeoff; to the bloody end, when he slides back onto the platform wearing a cut on his nose, feathers, and a shocked expression.
Roy (of Siegfried & Roy): Mauled by own Tiger
To this day, Roy maintains that Montecore, the tiger that dragged him across the stage in its jaws during a live show, was actually trying to protect him.
Any Random Celebrity: Hospitalized for Dehydration/Exhaustion
I understand. Your job is incredibly demanding. You lead very busy lives. Especially touring — thatâ€™s a real kicker. It can be exhausting. So hereâ€™s a small exercise that may help fortify you when youâ€™re under the gun: eat something and stop doing drugs.