Everything I know about life I learned from ‘Super Mario Bros. 3’

In the beginning, there was Nintendo. And the graphics were pixelated, and the background scenery, repetitive; and wonder filled the eyes of the children. And God said: "Let there be Super Mario Bros. 3."

Sure, times have changed in the world of "gaming" as it is now called. And there are probably games out there today that are much more impressive on many different levels, literally. But could any of them possibly teach us as many valuable life lessons as Super Mario Bros. 3? Or inspire a movie starring Fred Savage?

Life Lesson #1: Face your fears
It was this simple: if you faced the ghosts in the castle, they stopped dead in their tracks. If you turned the other way and/or bolted, they chased you.

Life Lesson #2: Feelings of invincibility are fleeting (and nothing can save you if you fall off a cliff)
Acquiring a star was like some sort of cocaine-bender in Mushroom World. The music would speed up and anything seemed possible as you steam-rolled your enemies. Unfortunately, the high was only temporary — and it was all-too easy to get carried away in a flashing frenzy and somersault off a cliff.

Life Lesson #3: We are at a disadvantage when out of our natural environment
Nothing looks quite so pathetic and awkward as a mustachioed plumber hopping around a castle in a frog suit.

Life Lesson #4: We must be equipped to advance to the next stage
Sometimes, we use the warp whistle too early in the game, and realize only too late that we don't have enough lives or tools to get us through to the next world (or are inappropriately dressed — see #3.)

Life Lesson #5: Might as well "jump"
It doesn't matter that you can't identify exactly what it is from the information booklet — if it's hurtling towards you in a threatening, hysterical manner — get the hell out of the way.

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