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Commercial cliches

Kool-Aid ManIn this day and age of being bombarded with advertisements everywhere you turn, it helps to insulate yourself with some good old-fashioned critical thinking. But what if you’re a mindless drone who eagerly digests every marketing morsel thrown your way during the average television commercial? Then you’d probably believe the following:

Everything takes place in an office
Are your wrists on fire, like Sally’s? Do you have nausea, heartburn, upset stomach? Indigestion, diarrhea? Or are you just interested in sharing a sensual moment enjoying the Aero bar bubbles with a co-worker? The “new hotness” in commercials seems to assume that the center of our world is a boring, sterile, monochromatic office, where your biggest reward for slaving away all day is a Kit Kat bar at break time.

I’m worth it
Oh I’m worth it, alright. I’m worth it enough to know that just because I don’t have Heather Locklear’s bleach-blonde hair doesn’t mean I’m depriving myself of something every woman should have.

There is an unspoken uniform for Moms
Apparently, it’s a pressed blue shirt. Because whether you’re dancing with a Swiffer or winking knowingly at Mr. Clean, then you’re probably wearing a blue shirt for some reason.

I can buy freedom
Who would have thought? Apparently money = freedom, and all I need to do to get it is consolidate! All this time I thought that avoiding debt in the first place was the key.

Science has made revolutionary advancements in makeup
Forget cancer research – there are scientists that look like models working ‘round the clock behind the doors of sleek, hi-tech laboratories to come up with thermal-detoxifying-hydro-lift creams that will reverse the aging process – and taste like chocolate!

A Kool-Aid jug bursting through your wall is a good thing
It must be. I’ve never seen kids so excited in all my life. I’d like to see some behind-the-scenes footage of that jug picking up pieces of drywall and apologizing to the kids’ parents for his outburst. I bet he wouldn’t be smiling then.

Content Creator
Giselle Melanson Tattrie is a writer and researcher who has worked in TV, film and print. She is currently the features editor for Popjournalism as well as the technical and content editor for Drawspace Publishing. Giselle lives in Nova Scotia with her husband and two children.
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