1. Don’t forget to remind people who you are, especially if you are the original “Becky” from Roseanne.
2. Don’t repeatedly write: “It’s Hammertime,” unless you actually are MC Hammer.
3. Don’t tell us that “music should be about the music,” especially if you are Vanilla Ice.
4. Don’t post a scandalous video of Paris Hilton and still expect to get a Christmas present from her, unless you are her younger brother, Barron Hilton.