Five don’ts for B-list bloggers (because there are no do’s)

1. Don’t forget to remind people who you are, especially if you are the original “Becky” from Roseanne.

2. Don’t repeatedly write: “It’s Hammertime,” unless you actually are MC Hammer.

3. Don’t tell us that “music should be about the music,” especially if you are Vanilla Ice.

4. Don’t post a scandalous video of Paris Hilton and still expect to get a Christmas present from her, unless you are her younger brother, Barron Hilton.

5. Don’t forget to tell us you are the real Kevin Federline, lest we mistake you for the fake one.